


Circles

by darkcyan



Series: Tumblr Fics [9]
Category: Natsume Yuujinchou | Natsume's Book of Friends
Genre: Alternate Universe - Fullmetal Alchemist, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-03-31
Updated: 2019-03-31
Packaged: 2019-12-27 00:07:47
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 987
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18292901
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/darkcyan/pseuds/darkcyan
Summary: Seiji never quite forgives himself for not staying and seeing the war through.Shuuichi never quite forgives himself for not leaving.





	Circles

**Author's Note:**

  * For [chidorinnn](https://archiveofourown.org/users/chidorinnn/gifts).



> Originally posted [here](http://cyanmnemosyne.tumblr.com/post/128095118708/consider-horrible-exorcists-as-state-alchemists) in September of 2015. Beginning has been very slightly edited to make it better stand alone.

Shuuichi is known as the Paper Alchemist because he can do almost literally anything with the stuff.  He and Roy saw action together a few times and were widely acknowledged as being a pair you _do not want to mess with_ – Shuuichi’s papercraft adding fuel to Roy’s fires.  (Not that they usually needed the help.) 

Seiji is known as the Farseeing Alchemist based on his reputation for being able to strike a distant target as accurately as any top marksman (though his weapons of choice are usually alchemical), his keen strategic mind, and one particular incident during training where, irritated at his companions’ bickering over the identity of an object in the distance, he transmuted a small hand telescope and pointedly told them to _just take a look for themselves and shut up_.

Shuuichi and Seiji meet, now and then, on various battlefields, always moving in different directions, but quick to recognize their growing disaffection in each other. 

Then they are assigned to the same company for a while – not quite as flashily destructive a pair as Shuuichi and Roy, but still with a vicious reputation that only grows in the telling. 

They fall into a heated battlefield romance, neither sure they will survive the next day, but determined that should they do so – should this war ever come to an end – they will find a way to make those responsible _pay_.

They swear promises with weary eyes, already doubting their ability to keep them.  They’ve long since lost their faith in anything like ‘forever’.

And then Seiji loses an eye.

He’s invalided home, the last time the two of them see each other for a number of years. 

He never quite forgives himself for not staying and seeing the war through.

Shuuichi never quite forgives himself for not leaving. 

* * *

Then the war is finally over, and for a few additional years after, Shuuichi assiduously avoids Central.  He wants to go see Seiji – he’s heard that he’s recovered remarkably well – but he also knows his temper well enough not to trust it around … certain other people. 

He wanders, taking on small tasks here and there.  Never in Ishbal itself – he can’t bring himself to face the accusations and rage that are only his due. 

He reconnects with Roy, and they talk in enough circles that he’s convinced Roy feels the same and is trying to _do_ something about it. 

He doesn’t join Roy’s team – he’s a bit too burnt out for that, and in any case Roy doesn’t trust quite _that_ easily – but every now and then, Roy will point him towards an assignment ‘he might find interesting’ or Shuuichi will pass on a tidbit of ‘just gossip, but I thought you’d be amused’. 

And so the years pass. 

* * *

Seiji’s anger burns just as high as Shuuichi’s, but colder.  He knows, as they all do, all those sickened by the war, that the source of the rot must be there in Central; must be high in the ranks.  All he doesn’t know is how high, and _why_.

(He is less concerned with _why_ than with _who_ and _how can I stop them_.)

He knows that the quickest way to find out is to become one of them.  Become one so well, that they will stop doubting him. 

There is a cost, he knows.  There always is. 

( _Equivalent exchange_ does not just apply to alchemy.)

But he will gladly pay it, if he can find out how to make this all _stop_.

(In his more self-aware moments, he wonders if this is simply his self-righteous attempt at penance for not having been there in the final stages of the war.)

While convalescing, he had worried about Shuuichi’s fate.

When he chooses his course, he locks that worry away.  It would only hinder him in doing what must be done.  He tells himself he does not care – that sacrifices must be made.

(He is glad Shuuichi avoids Central.  He does not want Shuuichi to see what has become.) 

(He is desperately afraid that this will prove to be the one sacrifice he cannot make.)

* * *

As the story unfolds, Shuuichi and Seiji are there on the edges.  Helping, sometimes.  Unintentionally obstructing, others. 

They meet again, maybe once or twice, and barely recognize each other. 

(That is a lie.  But an easier one than admitting the truth.)

But most of the time, they’re like ships passing in the night, never quite meeting, never quite noticing how nearby the other is.

* * *

And then it’s over – the festering wound on the country lanced by a boy half their ages. 

Shuuichi is there for the final battle, though not the very final stages. 

Seiji visibly (and destructively) defects when he sees which way the wind is blowing – that the time for the information he has gathered (most of it too little, too late) has come and gone and there is no point, any more, to his charade. 

The two of them fight together, again, for the first time in years, and it feels like coming home. 

They look at each other, after everything is over. 

Still older.  Still harder.  Still different.  Still little more than strangers, really. 

(They’d always been strangers, even during the war.  Passion and vengeance had left little time for softer things.)

(But it’s only now, after everything, that they really _feel_ it.)

“… I left a job half-finished, out near Rush Valley,” Shuuichi says awkwardly.  Even if the associations weren’t so strong, Central is just a bit too much of a _city_ for his tastes, anymore.  “It could use an extra pair of hands.  If you’d care to join me.”

Seiji tilts his head slightly, dark hair brushing across the white bandage across his face (because he _will not_ wear an eyepatch).  He has spent so long in Central, he’s almost forgotten what the rest of the country is like.  It would … not be displeasing, to find out. “Perhaps I will.”


End file.
